well, let me start with scare.

Life is full of unknowns which can cause you to freak out. But you don’t really have much chance to freak out before you grown up. Because before you graduate from college, all you need to do is studying hard, and taking a test and getting a good score so you can go to next better school. Well, some people can really freak out for taking test. No offense, I don’t like taking test either, since no one like to be evaluated by others’ standard.

But really what’s starting to freak me out is after I got my phD, and starts to live a life that nobody knows where it leads. All I know is that I need to get better, but seriously what’s better, and what I should do and what I’m going to be is all sorts of question can freak me out in second. And they never die, just go on and on and on.

And then what happens ? Bingo, it came with the pain, you know what I’m talking about, some pain is always in your stomach that you don’t know how to get rid of. You can say it’s the pain due to the anxiety and mostly scare. Since your body knows you don’t have knowledge to access and evaluate your goal, it doesn’t want you to think about it. It tries very hard to diverge you from looking for answer inside, since the answer is not there. So it did the good thing by raising all possible excuses not getting answers there. What you think of best excuse is ? Yes, the pain.

Pain is an excuse, can you believe it ? But believe or not, it is the source of the scare. So what you do now?

Looking answer somewhere else, at least looking answer calmly and peacefully like you are going to do it for couple of years. Find the best connection that might answer your question, find a nice family member who might know the question, take a look at yourself from different angle, diversify your focus everyday.

Keep in mind, ignore the excuse always, it’s the body mechanism that designed to protect you from drowning in the darkness, and it’ll die out once you see the light in the darkness. But he’s very protective, he’ll hug you whenever he’s not feeling secure. It’s designed for your survives, and that’s his most concern.

Stop pitting yourself, ignore most of the excuse feelings, try to calmly evaluate the situation little by little everyday by all means, assert and confirm yourself most of time, the scare will die naturally. Maybe not soon, but it will.

Notes: Take it serious or not, it’s your call. No personalities change is involved here. It’ll happen to anybody.